[- The Happy Pill -]

2010-10-22T18:32:00.000+08:00

I am so sorry love, i've moved.

We shall reunite at www.zia-rahman.tumblr.com
Dont miss me too much.

2010-10-22T04:04:00.004+08:00

Can you show me the way to happiness?
I lost my way and all these while, my smiles are forced, my laughters are faked
and i forgot the meaning of happiness.
I forgot how genuinely happy feels like.

Have you ever seen my eyes when i smiled?
My lips can curve up but my eyes can never lie about how i really feel deep inside.
You should pay attention, im losing myself in this mess.

2010-10-21T03:27:00.002+08:00

It says: Hahahah.. Ok, go and watch TV.

Dont forget to eat and remember, i love you bby.

If i can come back earlier(from fishing with his army PS and mates),

i'll meet you. I wana see your pretty face. Muax!

I miss and I love FARID for life.

Haters, gon' be hating.
I aint care a thing.

2010-10-20T00:05:00.001+08:00

I love unleashing my inner child self.

Im only 12 years old,
sometimes, i act as though im 4 years old.

2010-10-19T17:19:00.002+08:00

THIS BLOODY HAZE IS GIVING ME A MIGRAINE.

2010-10-19T03:15:00.003+08:00

Men should totally do this to each other when they are about to start a fight.
So, do you want to CUDDLE? HUH? DO YOU?!

Hahahahahhaha..!
I am laughing myself silly when i think of those gangsters
picking a fight and the other party would say " Do you want to cuddle?!"

2010-10-18T14:55:00.002+08:00

The other day, Eleena ordered 2 boxes of pizzas
and 'mini'-celebrate Julie's belated birthday/get-together.
Initially, we planned to get Julie Victoria Secret mists since her boyfriend
said that she loved using them but we couldn't find the kind that she loves
so we bought her Paris Hilton's perfume instead.

I had work earlier on and Boyfriend was sweet enough
to fetch me from work and send me off to Julie's house.

I MISS EATING PIZZAS!

After we had our fill, we accompanied Eleena,who drove that day,
to IMM Giant and did some grocery shopping.
We were super retards at shopping for groceries, trust me.

Me, Eleena, Julie

On 10/10/10, i attended Siti Hajar's wedding.
I cant believe my secondary school girlfriend is already married.
I wish to settle down soon too.

Oh, i am in love with my mom's red knitted blouse.
Yes,my mom's knitted blouse.

2010-10-17T18:58:00.000+08:00

I love having these images in front of my eyes.

And have you checked out my Facebook?

Yeah, i was the one who initiated the break up
but somehow i needed time to clear my mind off things
that has been bugging me the entire past 2 weeks.
No one really understands me like he does.
He even asked me to stay at his house, for good.
Well, im still unsure about that.

2010-10-15T13:17:00.000+08:00

I am so dizzy from excitement!
I could feel myself smiling in my sleep last night. (hahaha..!)
No, it wasnt a wet dream or anything.
It was something so so so much better.

Alright, i wont hold it in any longer!
My excitement is going to explode in my chest if i dont share it now.

Guess what i got from Farid Arifin yesterday?

G-SHOCK BABY!

Right, if that wasnt enough, he also got me this....

HOW CAN I POSSIBLY NOT SMILE IN MY SLEEP LAST NIGHT?!
I cannot help but admire my new red watch.
I've been wanting a G-Shock since early this year and when i finally got it,
i feel so giddy from joy and happiness.

Thank you Farid Arifin for being so nice to me.
No other man has pamper me the way you do.
I will never ever forget the things we've been through,
and the sacrifices you have made.

Anyways, that aside, after i got the MAC foundation at VIVO,
we head to Harborfront Centre for dinner at McDonalds.
I have been craving for a cheeseburger the past 3 days
and he is so sweet to comply and help me fulfill my cravings!

Cheeseburger is only $2 and i can totally get them myself
but each time my crave kicks in,
it's already in the middle of the night and
calling in to order ONE pathetic burger seems pretty outrageous.
So each day i tell myself to get one in the afternoon
but i got too busy with stuffs, (refer to schedule) that i keep forgetting.

While he was waiting for the meals we ordered,
i went to find ourselves a seat.
Being a considerate person, since he's already carrying the food,
i went to get chilli sauce and serviettes at the designated station.
I took like 2 straws, a few serviettes and 4 small plastic plate full of chilli sauce.
I put the chilli sauce on my palm and juggled my way to find seats.

I was ready to grab a seat, saw one, but before i reached,
the chilli sauce toppled over and crashes to the floor.
I only managed to save one!
Hahahaha..
I made a bloody mess, a really BLOODY mess.

I was feeling like crap when i spilled 3 small plastic plates of chilli sauce
until this uncle, who is a Mcdonalds crew there, looked at me with those grudging eyes.
I WAS ABOUT TO FEEL REALLY SORRY
THAT I SPILLED THE CHILLI BUT HIS GRUDGING LOOK
MADE ME FUELING WITH ANGER!

I kept on staring at him and he did the same.
Then he grumbled to himself pretty loudly
while throwing the contents on a tray into a rubbish bin
and then kept shaking his head to himself.
I have a feeling he was saying, "WTF this woman made my job harder.
Now the bloody floor is dirtied with so much chilli."

But i couldnt accept that BEING IN A SERVICE INDUSTRY,
he shouldnt have had shook his head and grumbled to himself!
Everyone makes mistakes, i happened to spill the chilli and he grumbles like a motherfucker.
I was so angry that i rolled my eyes at him, not feeling a tad sorry, though i wanted to.

The old man is lucky i was having a good day earlier.
(If i had a bad day, i'd probably go to him and ask,
"What's ur bloody problem? Stare and shake your head at me?
It wasnt intentional what! This is intentional" *spills coke onto his black shoe*
hahahhaha....!)

okay, i cannot imagine being that bitchy.

Anyways, guess what i got myself the other day at VIVO?

GUESS PLATFORM SLIP INS!

2010-10-13T01:01:00.001+08:00

My October is packed. (!!!!!!)

2010-10-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

I dont owe you a living.

2010-10-11T13:28:00.003+08:00

Psychotic woman on the loose.
How come i have so many haters than lovers when
i dont do shit to anyone at all?

(Click picture to enlarge)

2010-10-11T12:21:00.001+08:00

Im in for a sugar rush today.

2010-10-10T17:41:00.000+08:00

You dont know how sorry i am right now.
I am kicking myself but this is just what i need.
No fuss, just fun.

Our paths will cross again if fate is with us.
If you're stuck at a crossroad, follow your intuition.

2010-10-10T10:49:00.003+08:00

Is this a good wake up call yet?
I exist.

2010-10-09T22:41:00.009+08:00

This is super impromptu since i have the song in my mind all day long,
i might as well sing it.
I recorded this once and i sound so retard
but im just saying, i love this song so much.

2010-10-07T03:11:00.002+08:00

Boy, you got me; though im afraid to admit, wanting you to love me is really thrilling.

2010-10-06T02:26:00.004+08:00

Is it just me or are the hosts too mean with their comments?
Seriously, the hosts shouldn't have a speck of make up on their faces.
It then gives the hosts the right to comment negatively.

But hey, give credits to their flawless face.

Honestly, they look so adorable after putting on make up.
Most of them looked like blogshop models.

And have i mentioned that they have great flawless skin?

I know alot of you people dont believe in make up
and would rather go for natural beauty and all.
Well, sure, i dare you not to have a speck of make up at all
for your wedding day if you're such person.

Let's not be hypocrites, yes?

Okay guys, go check out Youtube.com if you wana see more.

2010-10-05T16:01:00.002+08:00

I've a message for you.
I hope you feel me like i feel for this video.

2010-10-04T20:01:00.003+08:00

Commemorating Hari Raya With my Primary School friends was so much fun.
We had 3 cars in total and it really inspires me to get my license as soon as possible.
(I've enrolled,btw)

Everyone is as funny as what i remembered them to be.
Time flies so fast.
It felt like just yesterday we hang under our Mom's armpit
but today, we're so old and legal.

2010-10-03T03:54:00.002+08:00

Damn right, it's not as easy as it sounds, or as easy as it looks;

You should probably walk in my shoes,
or maybe all we ever needed was a chance.

You put me in a state of uncertainty, you are full of mysteries.
And you definitely got me intrigued.

The rules and walls i've built has been broken, by you.
And i cant simply say the three words so often to you
because it's dangerous, my love is dangerous.

I can kill you with my ego, i can kill you with my attitude.
But above all that, im hoping you'd stay.

And if what you feel is real, then fight for me.
Cos as of right now, im unsure where im supposed to be.

2010-10-02T21:24:00.000+08:00

Guess what i did on the eve of Hari Raya?
Well, apart from having an EXAM earlier in the day,
i did some spring cleaning and bought sparklers to play with at night.
Well, like finally exams were over and it's time to party like a kid.

We had to clean the house and this kid just had to stand in our way.

Then we had a fun time playing with sparklers.
By we, i meant, my sisters, aunt, neighbour, cousin and nephew.

Day of Hari Raya

2010-10-01T19:17:00.004+08:00

I freaking miss typing Blogger.com

onto my address bar.

And I miss you... too.

-Zia Rahman

2010-09-18T05:34:00.000+08:00

I am such a crappy blogger and i have plenty of overdue stuffs that i want to post
but im just so crappy that i couldnt get myself to type it all out because
A) Im too overwhelmed with my Facebook notifications and the updates.
B) I get sidetracked freaking easily.

My purpose of switching on my laptop tonight was because i wanted to update my blog
so that it would not be freaking dead but from the time i came online,
which was around midnight (and it's 3.45am now),
i have been doing nothing but play games on Facebook,
watch the latest episode of 90210 SEASON 3(yes,it's finally out!!!!),
viewed(more like stalked) my friends' Hari Raya pictures and status updates in Facebook
and watch Youtube videos for 'How to Cook Fried Rice' and 'Beef Stew'.

I know, im so lame right!
I want to learn how to cook and Youtube is so helpful, i cannot thank Youtube enough.
However i am not sure how my cooking is going to turn out
but i will try cooking Beef Stew one of these days
because after watching the video, i can think nothing but Beef Stew.

Truth be told, i have lost the inspiration to blog and that was
majorly the reason why i dread typing out 'blogger.com' on the address bar.
Furthermore, my chatbox is so dead except for the frequent 'pb' person.
I have a feeling 'pb' is the same person who keeps coming to my blog
and only bothers to leave a comment because
out of the 177 readers i have this week alone(figures obtained from Nuffnang.com.sg),
only 1 bother to urge me to do an update.
I need my vibe back, fast.

Anyways, my week has been a total wreck.
(At this point of time, i have to restart my lappy
because Windows decide to do a system update at this particular time
when im in the zone to be blogging about my week. Fuck you Windows.
I will be right back everyone.)

I had to wait for half an hour for a system update!
OMG, i need sleep its 4.20am already(!!!!!!)
Anyways, my lappy decided to be a bitch to me recently
and my sister ran a scan and suspected a Macro virus.

If you have no clue what Macro virus is about, i'll be glad to enlighten you.
It's a kind of virus that is on Microsoft Office files
and it corrupts all the freaking Word precessing data
or whatever documents you store in your computer.
I seriously cant stand it, so i had to 'cure' it right away.

Im so annoyed, seriously speaking.
Why do humans create virus in the first place?
Dont they have nothing better to do with their time, like put their brains to good use
and design more interesting blogskins for me to choose from or create a lappy that
doesnt require electricity to save the Earth which is much better than create a virus
just to steal personal IDs,passwords or maybe credit card numbers.

Everyone would really appreciate if their computers are virus free anyways.
So, i had to reboot everything and i only managed to save my picture files.(!!!!)
I had to delete the rest because my 8GB thumbdrive
could not accomodate to the rest of my videos and music files.
I just hope my lappy would be virus-free from now on so that my mind can be at ease.
I DO NOT WANT TO BUY A NEW LAPPY!
I LOVE MY VAIO.

Honestly, call me crazy, but i feel a certain connection with my current lappy.
I am just so in love with it.
It's not really bulky, the keyboard is so comfortable
and everything else, the design,the operating system, appeals to me so much that
i had this thinking "How the heck did i lived my life before i owned you,
because you're like the greatest lappy in the whole wide world!"
(You guys can save your 'MACBOOK IS BETTER' comments to yourselves,tyvm.)

See! Im sidetracked thanks to the Windows update.
Anyways, my exams are over and im not really happy per say with my performance.
I had 3-4 weeks of school break and i managed to enjoy 3 weeks of it and left the last few days to revise.
I used to be a studious person!
How the hell have i been so laidback?!!

I am having a panic attack right now because i just realised
that i am wasting an opportunity to study in Poly
and all the other people who are so enthusiastic to take up Diploma
but had to take up private Diploma which cost
so much more would probably think,
'i deserve a place in Poly than u with an attitude like this, u fucking loafbag!'

Note to self: Be more enthusiastic about school.
I am just hoping that i pass, so please pray with me that i pass all the modules!

That aside, Boyfriend had to stay in camp during
THE WHOLE FUCKING WEEK of Hari Raya due to some Guard Duty!
He was so moody the whole week because it has been TWO BLOODY YEARS in a row
that he couldnt get to celebrate Hari Raya with his family due to NATIONAL SERVICE!
I had to tolerate his mood swings and i understand how he feels
so i controlled my anger when he sounded so distant while
on the phone with me at night just so not to worsen his mood.

His elder brother is away in Thailand because his brother is an army regular
and it was only his parents that are left celebrating Hari Raya by themselves.
Boyfriend even told me that his CO(or Captain or whoever it is la i cannot remember)
said to his platoon INSENSITIVELY that Hari Raya is 'just like any normal day.'

I am seriously pissed off with that!
His bloody stupid Captain obviously dont know how to choose his bloody words.
What the fuck is his highest qualifications? PSLE? Or kindergarten drop out?
This kind of "HARI RAYA IS JUST LIKE ANY NORMAL DAY" comment
can spark a bloody racial riot!!

I hope some government official of Singapore reads this and fire that bloody Captain.
He is so insensitive with his words and he doesnt deserve his bloody rank!
How the hell did he get promoted to such a high rank but
has a skull that is seriously as empty as hell?!!

He could just have said "This is one of the responsibilities of being a soldier,
having to protect the Nation even during Hari Raya."
That wouldnt have sparked any bloody anger in anyone if
he could have just grow ONE TINY BRAINCELL to think and say it POLITELY.

HE DESERVED TO BE FIRED!

I AM HAPPY TO GIVE DETAILS OF WHICH CAMP HE IS FROM
SHOULD ANY GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL DECIDE TO GIVE ME A CALL
AND INVESTIGATE ON THIS(AND FINALLY HAVE THAT PERSON FIRED)
Too much money on your hand till your blinded with insensitive comments,isit?
You dont deserve to be a Singaporean, much less becoming someone of a high rank to protect this land.

I know it is inevitable to have duties and be away from home
even during important festive season like this
but if he could just have the empathy to understand how they feel
and comfort them with kind words would've not hurt his bloody pride
of being a higher ranking official,right?

Anyways, CONGRATULATIONS BOYFRIEND
FOR BEING PROMOTED TO FIRST CLASS CORPORAL!
Very rare indeed and you deserve it.
Too bad you wont be signing on.
I'd rather you not to anyways and have Hari Raya in camp for the years to come.
That would totally sucked hardcore!

Anyways, i know this is such a long blog post, so much for losing the vibe to blog,
i will crash my bed now.
I have to leave for Johore tomorrow and meet, you guys will be shocked if i say this
but im going to say it anyways, my dad.

He threatened that he wouldnt sign my marriage certificate if i didnt visit him tomorrow
so my brother in law will drive me and my 2 sisters.

The very last person i want to see in this whole bloody world
is asking me to meet him and celebrate Hari Raya together.
The one question in my mind now, am i going to see his wife and my step siblings tomorrow?
Because i really dont feel like it and i might make a huge ass attitude if he
triggers one of my bloody tiny nerves.

If he do, he'll be sorry he had me.

2010-09-09T04:08:00.003+08:00

I am wishing all the Muslims around the world a Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.
Time to forgive and seek forgiveness from each other.
Let's all start a new chapter of our lives as of tomorrow
and i'll definitely miss the month of Ramadan, the holiest month of the Islamic calendar.

To everyone out there, if i have ever been rude or hurt you guys
with my actions or words, do forgive me.
I know i have such a huge ego and attitude
and some may cant handle me like that.
So sorry. =)

Stop hate, give love.
Here's to all, Selamat Hari Raya.
(Happy public holiday to those who are not celebrating this day)

P/S: Im 44kg now! 2kg down, 4 more kg to go!

2010-09-07T01:18:00.001+08:00

Im in the midst of exam week and i couldnt be bothered to really study
since exams falls close to the festive season.
All my mind could think of was how to set my hair for the coming Hari Raya,
what make up color palette to use, what to wear on the actual day itself
and i definitely cant wait to eat the cookies and get $.
At such an age and still looking forward to getting Green Packets is totally shameful
but there's no space for shame since im not working!
Woohoo. It feels so great being a student!

I know, I've been thinking nothing but Hari Raya.
And at such rate, revision seemed relatively unimportant now.

You have to agree with me on this,
exams during festive season is a definite spell for low self motivation in revising.
I mean, come on, everyone has a life to live up to and being chained to the ground
at such timing is utterly disgusting. (At least to me)

Studying during the fasting month is seriously no joke.
The brain needs food (and thinks of food) halfway through revisions
and it completely shuts down when the food cravings are ignored.
Well, at least that was how my brain functioned
so i ended up studying(and playing Facebook and blogging at the same time)
during the night and i know this is seriously fucked up
but i have no choice.

I still need my 'network socializing' (!!!!)
Why is Facebook so freaking addictive?

Well, i know most of you guys(who are still schooling)
is going through the same phase as i am (having exams)
so to lighten the whole atmosphere up,
i shall share with you guys funny pictures pertaining to exams.

Best of luck everyone, hope all of you guys get As.

How is this even possible? Hahahaha...

HAHAHAHA..! This person even wrote his own questions.

The teacher rocks! big time!

HAHAHAHAHA EPIC!

Best of the lot:

Images credit to: google.com and funnyexam.com

2010-09-04T02:42:00.000+08:00

I cannot decide if i should do something different to myself,
like dye my hair blackest black and grow out my brows
and achieve that Megan Fox look.
Should i?

Oh, and two-parts of my walls are now dark hot pink.(the rest pearly white)

I have a love hate relationship with my walls now.

Some days it looked red, some days it looked maroon.

The color was nothing like the ones in the catalogue.

IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HOT PINK FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

2010-09-02T18:03:00.003+08:00

I love you Candice Swanepoel!

And your shoes

And your legs (!!!)

and your hair

and your height.

Awww...

Models.

She's the far right(if you dont know that yet)

2010-09-01T07:02:00.001+08:00

My deepest wish is to be as gorgeous as you.

I love you Kim!

2010-08-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

I cant help myself but go shopping these past few days

and im going to be super broke sooner or later.

Shopping has been the only form of exercise i love doing now.

I have no clue how to stop being such an ass when i see nice stuffs.

My money is slowly depleting and i can kiss my car license goodbye if i continue shopping at this rate.

I've stocked up plenty on clothes, lingerie (both sexy and naughty ones*wink*),

cosmetics, necklaces and i have a bigger problem than money now,

I have no space for my stuffs anymore.

Some of my stuffs are still in their plastic bags.

Organizational problems aside, Boyfriend and friends celebrated Ayie's birthday at Dbl O

and i dont really enjoy myself there.

Boyfriend got super wasted and kept dancing at the podium,

i kept going back and forth the bar to get him and myself shots.

And i've wasted so much money that day and no amount of tears can bring them back.

I seriously hate how low the alcohol quantity they put in jugs

so that was one of the reasons why i bought shots instead.

Maybe the reason i wasnt enjoying the night was because i was too sober

and the music sucked like a motherfucker.

Nobody knew it was some "Retro Metro Night" event.

No wonder there was 80s music blasting away up to 1 am!

There was only 3 hours of cool house and hip hop music to enjoy and dance to

but that was obviously not enough for me.

Epic fail with make up that night, my face's white and grey with flash but it looks pretty normal without.
Hahahaha.

Pictures from Dbl O Official Facebook Page.

2010-08-29T05:31:00.001+08:00

I cannot believe it!
My stupidity caused my mobile to die and crash on me.
I feel like a cave woman now that im uncontactable.

I dont deserve this, teach me how to do CPR!
I'd like to revive my mobile.
My heart is super broken now, just like my broken mobile.

2010-08-28T17:17:00.006+08:00

It says " Zia is for Farid, And Farid is for Zia "

Tonight, we're watching Step Up 3 in 3D.
For the first time, we're both watching something in 3D.

2010-08-27T08:09:00.001+08:00

Today is a new day, im fighting for myself.
Im going to stop existing and start living.

2010-08-26T18:03:00.000+08:00

I have been taking it day by day with patience and a little hope

that things will be different, that there will be some change.

But for as long as i've lived, the hope gets thinner as the situation gets unbearable.

Every effort was in vain, every feeling felt insane

and the only comfort to keep me alive was the feeling of being in clouds.

I dont wish to exist, i wish to live; in your hearts,in your minds.

I came up with a million excuses and reasons to forgive

but as each reasons fail to make sense, i went back to being inebriated.

Sometimes everything felt so bitter, most times everything didnt matter.

When the worst i could ever do was believe that tomorrow will be different,

today fucks the crap out of me.

Im tired of being a tenant, i want to be a member.

Im sick of being angry, i just want to be happy.

2010-08-23T17:46:00.000+08:00

We're no cool kids, we just like to live up to each day with
drinks on our hands, partners by our side and friends all around.

After two bottles of vodka, waking up in the morning never felt better.

2010-08-22T18:52:00.002+08:00

As part of my compulsory Sports & Wellness programme,
we were all given a (LIMITED) choice of activities to sign up for.
There was swimming, tennis, badminton, orienteering, yoga and all.

I took up hip hop dance and i just waved goodbye to dance practice a few weeks ago

because there will be no more Sports & Wellness programme anymore.

I love dance but i've gotten rusty myself

and i wished i could continue dancing for the rest of my Poly years

but unfortunately the programme is only offered to Year 1.1 students

and if i were to continue, i have to pay fees for an outside class.

We had to come up with a one minute hip hop dance item,

all thanks to Zee for her help and sweat in teaching us the choreography,

for the last day of the dance programme for a mini 'competition'.

I had so much fun during practice,

though there was once when i was 7 hours late for practice,
(I was supposed to be there at 9am but came at 4pm instead)

but all that aside, our dance was great and our teamwork could be seen

but apparently, it wasnt enough for our instructor.

That aside, win or lose, dancing with the girls was so much fun.

During rehearsal:

Day of competition:

2010-08-19T06:10:00.000+08:00

I am catching up on my long lost favourite drama, Gossip Girl.
I stopped watching it ever since the website i often visit
got so wasted with broken video links
so i directed my attention to 90210.

But after a recommendation from a friend
pertaining the website, im finally back, on bed, watching my favourite show!

I should go back to watching it now,
i missed out so much.

2010-08-18T17:45:00.001+08:00

Went shopping the past week and i nearly max out my card.

Now with only a few hundreds to spare, i am going to keep my card

in my piggy bank and not bring it where ever i go anymore.

Or a better idea is to stay home to save up money for my car license

and most importantly resist from clicking online shopping sites.

Im waiting for my parcel to arrive,

(a little black dress which is for September's party.)

and my last shopping escapade will be tomorrow.

(I just blurted out 'Yes' when my sister asked me out

on a shopping escapade tomorrow at town.)

Oh well, i promise this would be the last round of shopping.

The usual, 1-6 pm, text me if you wanna tag.

2010-08-17T16:13:00.003+08:00

I am easily amused, i know.

2010-08-14T16:17:00.002+08:00

He texted an emotional message to me one night saying how bad a Boyfriend he is.
He has a huge attitude that levels up with mine, and i have no problem with that.

All i can say is,♥♥ i love you just the way you are. ♥♥

2010-08-12T14:53:00.002+08:00

Last Saturday, Boyfriend and i, together with his friends,

meet up to celebrate Wan's birthday.
It was an unprepared meet up and i had no idea
that it was his birthday until my Boyfriend told me on the night itself.

The boys came up with a mini celebration (which is to meet up)
but after meeting up, all of us had no idea where to go or what to do.
So we ended up dropping our anchors at Forum and chill there.

There wasnt anything much to do, besides feasting our eyes
on the big Advertisement TV in front of us that shows skanky girls dancing.
Everything was pretty much last minute, the cake was bought at the nearest Coffee Bean,
the food was bought at McDonalds, and the drinks(beers), from 7-11.

Right after the birthday boy and his girlfriend went off,(they said they were going "home")
the rest of us went Cineleisure to watch Tekken.
Boyfriend and i had to go off to his cousin's birthday celebration
but his friends didnt believe us and went ahead to buy the tickets.

We weren't lying!
His family was already expecting us at Jurong Prawning that night
but there wasnt much we could do since they have already bought the tickets for us.
It was a really good movie though and i love it to the max!
Though the storyline was somehow very expected and predictable,
the sick moves makes the movie interesting as a whole.

You guys should go watch it.

Yesterday, as a way to celebrate our 5 years and 6 monthsary,
Boyfriend decided to catch a movie at Vivo.
He wanted to watch Salt so i made an online booking,
(because i fear there wont be any seats left)
and i was right, the rows available was 4th from the front onwards.

Anyways, talk about the seatings aside,i was freaking disappointed with the movie!
I expected alot of cool sick fighting skills but there were none!
The storyline was catchy in the begining but towards the end it turned to be very very predictable.
I nearly doze off watching it!

The only thing that kept me awake was the popcorn and the cheesy hotdog.
I cant help but feel that i've wasted my money watching this.
Yes, it was that bad.

Anyways, Happy 5 years and 6 monthsary my dearest Boyfriend.

2010-08-11T15:43:00.003+08:00

Anyone

Wanna

Shopping?

Time: 1PM - 6PM

Date: 12 AUG 2010

Please sign up by texting me your name.

Let's go shopping girls!

2010-08-10T17:11:00.000+08:00

Life has been super hectic of late, and i meant it in a good way.

I have been wanting to blog about the occurrences for the past weeks

but i really couldnt find the time to sit down and type it all out.

My "To be Blogged" picture folder is bursting with

piles of pictures that screams "BLOG ME! BLOG ME!"

but im just too darn busy(and lazy) so i kept procrastinating each day and

promised to blog about it soon but never got to doing it in the end.

I know, im such an idiot, i have time to play games on Facebook each day

and i dont even have the time to blog?

I deserve a kick in the ass.

I promise to blog daily now because my schedule has cleared up!

And the reason is because....... school's out!

WOHOOO!

I have 3 weeks of school break before coming back for final exams.

So here's my plan:

Enjoy my first 2 weeks and get down to revision on the 3rd and final week.

Time flies so fast, i barely had time to know each and everyone in my class!

(Im not good at remembering names, and definitely an idiot at pronouncing Chinese names).

But that aside, i had so much fun being in a class full of hyperactive people.

Let's just hope we'd be in the same class again next semester.

I have been busy attending full day workshops on a SATURDAY the past weeks

and all that was pretty god damn redundant, in my opinion.

I had to waste two Saturdays going to 2 workshops

that starts as early as 9am and ends as late as 4-5pm.

Imagine that!

On top of that, lunch wasnt even provided!

That was super crazy but i managed to get myself off the bed and be in school on time.

Of course i had to come, the workshop carried a 30% weightage!

OBSE WORKSHOP:

(Bridge making excercise, and we won!)

Last day of semester:

I will miss having people crack the eggs for me. hahahahahaha!!

2010-08-09T00:49:00.000+08:00

I am so sorry guys, i know im such a dickhead.
I changed my link for the sake of having my name up on the cyber world.
Hahaha, yes, changing of links are pretty annoying but i just couldnt resist it!
I was already thinking of a drastic change, like from Blogger to Tumblr
but then again, i didnt want to leave my past posts behind.

Reading back the old posts, how my command of English
sucked hardcore in the begining
and how everything else happened for the past years
was too overbearing for me to leave behind.
Gee!

Anyways, yays! I've moved to a new link!
Easier for you guys to remember, i hope
www.zia-rahman.blogspot.com

2010-08-02T00:49:00.001+08:00

I cant wait to get myself back on track
and get healthier than ever before.
I wish to stop calling myself a mess
and stay away from trouble as far as i possibly could.

It's difficult to change and turn over a new leaf
but with all the love i have from people around me,
i find it all worthwhile.

I want to be in control of my life from this moment forth.
I will stay away from everything and anything that ruins me.
People are only good for pretending and judging
but i shall never bother words of people who never mattered in my life.

I have lost 2kg in the span of two days and
im not saying im proud of this
but all im saying is that i am on a path of recovery.

I know some of you may be clueless to what i've just typed but
those who dont understand it, it is obviously not meant for you.
It's obviously meant for people who have loved me endlessly and those who
wished to see me happier than i already am.

Anyways, I cant wait to party like a rockstar
with my Boyfriend and friends this coming public holiday.
We're definitely drinking and i cant wait.

With that, im off to find quotation for hotel suites.
If you guys can find me hotel suites of affordable price,
say $200/night during the coming public holiday period,
drop me a comment at my tagboard, or as usual, drop a message at my email.

2010-07-23T01:29:00.005+08:00

I have been bombarded with assignments all throughout the week
and it feels really sucky because i cant get to relax and roll around at home,
watch TV at night or read my book before bedtime.

Seriously, i always have to type out assignments after assignments each night
while envying my sister who gets to blast the TV volume to some Korean variety show
and laughing her ass off every 1 minute.

I want to do that as well!
Why's the school holiday not approaching fast?

I was early for school today because my 'Math' teacher
told me to look for her at 11 am for consultation
but when i arrived somewhat around 11.15 am and called her multiple times,
she was nowhere near her desk.
Great.

She will definitely nag and say that im not putting in effort
and absconding from her consultation session the next time i see her.
Great.

My next lecture was about 2 hours away
and i couldnt think of a better place to crash (with that 2 hours on hand)
other than the library.
So i went to the library thinking of watching some crappy TV Shows but
i changed my plans and met my classmate who happened to be there as well.

I was so adventurous and went ahead
to borrow 3 story books, all of romantic genre,
when i know that i am only able to complete reading
1 book at the end of the loan due date.

I am a fast reader but all the assignments on hand
are making me hard to concentrate on reading
so i intend to re-read that particular book
just to make sure i get the storyline right.

I blame taking Literature for O Levels for making me
so petty when i read my books.
Yes, Literature was my favorite subject but not when it comes to poems.
I FUCKING hate poems.

All those alliterations and what not is so disgustingly annoying.
And reading between the lines is so frustrating when the poems are like,
"What is thy name.... Thy hand once more; I will not loose again.. "
Why is it so difficult to write Thy as Your?
Old English? Yeah, i prefer listening to Sean Paul's English accent.

That aside, days ago, Boyfriend accessorize his bike
and i was there to be a busy body, as usual.
Bikes fascinates me but i'm not the sort who goes crazy for guys with bikes.
I'm just crazy over bikes.

There was once, i saw a girl on Ducati Motard while i was
on the road with Boyfriend and i was filled with envy just looking at her sick ride.
I was thinking to myself, "OMG, this girl is so cool, i'd date her!"

Okay, maybe i was too extreme thinking of dating her
but yeah, she's that cool.

I wonder when i'll ever get my driver's license.
I'm like not here nor there.
My savings intended to take a driving license
is always spent on clothes or shoes that i don't need.
I seriously need someone to take care of both my POSB and UOB ATM cards.

Okay fine, from tomorrow onwards, i shall save up my pocket money
and go get myself a driving license or at least a decent DSLR camera.
For god sake, i'm 20 and i have no such skills makes me such a loser.

But credits have to be taken into consideration as well because
i did drove my friend's car the other time and i pass the whole driving thingy,
just not the parking.

Parking is so hard cos i dont know how to look into those side mirrors.
They are so difficult!
I only know how to use mirrors when i do my make up and touch ups,
not for parking and looking at short white lines at the parking space.

Oh well.
I'll learn that soon enough.

Pictures taken with my sister's Nokia N6O-something phone.

Yeah, she was there with her Boyfriend

because her boyfriend promised my Boyfriend

to mount the accessories onto my Boyfriend's bike.

I was thinking of acting sexy on the bike

like how those slutty girls do and jack their asses

but then i was thinking of the cool Ducati Motard chick

who sits on her bike like a normal guy would

and so, i made my pose decent in this picture.

And no, im not a lesbian nor a bi. tyvm.

2010-07-20T21:04:00.001+08:00

Hey guys, i have something to share with you.

My webcam has super seriously boring features.

I can only take plain pictures with my webcam and i dont have all those retarded effects that can make me laugh like crazy.

If you own a laptop like mine, Vaio, and has no interesting retarded effects,

click cameroid.com!

You dont even have to edit your pictures, not that i edit my pictures but

for those who loves effects and editing, it's all there!

This is taken by my plain boring webcam that has no effects at all.

This is by cameroid.com NO DOWNLOADS NECESSARY!

Get crazy with it guys.

Cos im so high on taking pictures with cool effects.

Woohoo!

2010-07-19T20:42:00.001+08:00

When i thought i had picked up all the pieces of my heart

and placed it back perfectly together,

you tore me into several pieces yet again.

This has been the zillionth time i had to deal with such pain

and i dont think im that strong to carry on anymore.

Now that everything's been said and done,

there's no room for trust cos all that is gone.

I cant forgive myself for letting you make a fool out of me.

You couldnt be more cruel than this.

We can never be the same again.

All that we dream of during the first time we got together is getting impossible.

Is it that hard for you to think about my feelings?

When you did all that, i dont think you realise how you made me look, or feel.

Im done.

Im not going to be the one who's putting in the effort anymore.

Now it's your turn to win me back

cos everything that i once felt for you is fading.

I dont want this to happen, i dont want to wake up knowing im never

going to be by your side ever again.

But if that was to ever happen, i just want to let you know that

you have been the best person to ever appear in my life.

You have taught me so much.

You taught me how to feel, how to love and you taught me the meaning of pain.

You taught me everything.

Thank you for all those life lessons that i will always and forever remember.

2010-07-11T21:51:00.001+08:00

Madness in School

I like!

2010-07-09T09:34:00.001+08:00

I am perplexed about the bloody octopus prediction

about Spain winning over Germany in the World Cup Semi Finals

and I'm trying as hard as i can to accept the fact that Germany lost.

Yes, I'm a sore loser, boo hoo....

Okay, im not really a soccer fanatic but if someone

were to ask who im supporting (which i've been asked countless of times),

i will have to say that i support(or supported, in this case) Germany.

Though i am a tad disheartened, I'm lucky i didn't place any bets on them.

Not that I'm crazily into betting and gambling,

i just wanted to get into the spirit of the World Cup Fever.

I mean, when i grow up and marry a soccer fanatic(Eg: my Boyfriend),

inevitably, i will end up having to endure boring soccer talks for the rest of my life.

So, i might as well train myself and get used to the "soccer" world.

Funny thing is that, soccer is my Boyfriend's passion but he hates watching the match.

He'd rather be on the field playing soccer than watching soccer.

Anyways, I was rooting for Argentina initially

but then i decided to root for Germany instead because the players are stronger.

And it doesn't matter now, they both lost anyways.

So let's skip that heart wrenching news and forget about it altogether, shall we?

I have pretty much a whole load of galleries in my folder

consisting pictures of overdue activities i've done over the past few weeks

but im just too busy to share it with you guys.

Im still fortunate having readers in my blog after being on hiatus for quite some time.

Thank you to 600+ readers a month(source:Nuffnang.sg) who loves reading my blog.

The main reason why im still blogging is because i love writing

and i love my readers.

I wanna kiss all of you! Really!

I am well aware that i've lost several readers
after uploading an egoistic post back then

because i was filled with anger regarding a senseless tagger

who commented about my looks and tried all ways possible to bring down my morale.

I defended myself by posting several comments i've received on Facebook,
saying how good looking i am and due to my ego of posting that up,
the number of readers declined

and i believe it's because those readers think that im bragging and not being humble.

I deeply regretted that and i know i handled it badly and i wasnt even thinking straight.

That aside, i guess it's a 1-0.

1 point to the hate tagger, 0 for me.

Unhappiness event aside, a few weeks ago, i went to volunteer

at Muhammadiyah Welfare home and i felt a great sense of satisfaction, helping out.

Though my role was very minor, im glad i did my part and had fun.

I agreed to volunteer (not a compulsory community service work)

after my friend told me about it.

I was in charge of the inflatable bounce house together with a friend

and i was so mad happy about it!

I even got the chance to bounce in it for a little while before the event commenced.

It sure hell brought many fond memories!

When the kids started to arrive, i was pretty psyched but kids being kids,

they ended up quarreling with one another while playing in the 'house'

and i was kind of helpless in resolving their "cat fights"

They(mixture of girls and guys) were like saying

how the other look like a monkey and how the other looked like a satan and all.

They continued bickering and i thought they were just joking with each other

until a parent voiced "Hey, stop fighting."

I didnt even noticed that they were serious about their crude exchange of remarks.
(i thought they were saying the "Bodoh boleh blajar,muke kau macam gajah" poem thingy)

They were giving me a hard time, really.

I told them that if they were to continue quarreling,
i will ask them to leave the inflatable bounce house.

Of course, they stopped quarreling but five minutes later, they started bickering again.

Kids................. grrr! Hahaha..

They were allowed to be in the 'house' for ten minutes for every $1 token

but my friend and i were kind enough to let them play in it
for as long as they like yet the effort was unappreciated.

Why am i always being bullied?

Do i look too soft so much so that even kids would bully me?

Grrr!!!

A few minutes later, the inflatable bounce house deflated

due to the power failure and the dispute was settled, NATURALLY.

Thank you God, for helping me out there.

Right about then, i switched to another job which was to fill the balloons with helium

and then give them out to the kids.

(You bet i sucked on the helium and tried to hear my cartoon voice. EPIC FAIL,BTW)

I am better at the second task because seriously, im a failure with handling kids' attitudes.

The funny lady.

We were talking to each other in Bahasa Indonesia

and it made me squeeze my brainjuice getting the sentences right.

2010-07-08T18:33:00.000+08:00

I cant bear to use you.
Im $10 poorer now.

Will the value escalate to the cost of a two seater Lamborghini if i keep it for 10 more years?
Hahahaha!!

2010-07-05T01:41:00.003+08:00

Germany will win the world cup.

Thank you very much.

Im going to place my bets now.

Cheers.

2010-07-02T02:12:00.000+08:00

Should i be on hiatus for a week or so?

What do you think?

2010-06-29T23:25:00.001+08:00

I am so in love with red!

My life's theme colour as of right now is red.
It used to be pink but i dont know why red appeals to me now.
Be it red dress, red thongs or red lips, i love them all!

I used to go out with nude lipstick and lip gloss on.
(Mind you, Boyfriend goes crazy with my lips like that.)
So i decided that a little change might do some good.

I always associate red lips with femininity.
And trying it out on myself has got me amazed at how different i look.

I personally feel that every girls out there,irregardless of skin color,
will look super gorgeous with red lips.
With that being said, a few weeks ago, i bought a red lipstick
and i am definitely going back to get my hands on a few more tubes.

I cannot get enough of red lips!!

I know that wearing too much lipstick will make our lips chapped and dry.
So i came up with a good tip for you guys to try out to eliminate chapped lips.

I have personally done this quite a few times and the results show!
My lips used to be so chapped and it would even bleed sometimes.
So i did a little research and now, my lips couldn't be any healthier!

Here's what i did:
After i shower each morning(or afternoon,in most cases), i exfoliate my lips!
Get rid of the dead skin cells on the lips using your toothbrush.
Gently rub off the dead skin cells, rinse and apply moisturiser!

What moisturiser?
Any lip moisturiser or conditioner will do.
I use Nivea since it's the easiest to get
at any cosmetics store like Watson or Guardian.
If you have an expensive taste, you can get MAC Lip Conditioner with SPF 15
or even better, MAC Tinted Lip Conditioner with SPF 15.

Do this in the morning and i can assure you that your lips will look super healthy.
That aside, drinking loads of plain water helps as well!

(P/S: This is so gonna be how i look like for this year's Hari Raya)

This is taken using my sister's camera phone.

OMG, she looks like a doll, even with red lips!

So, who says dolly-looking has to have pink lips?

I love Megan Fox's red lips best. OMGGG!!

2010-06-20T20:09:00.001+08:00

Just when my day started to turn dull and empty,
this pops out on Facebook and exploded my heart with joy.
I love random sweet messages from you.

It never fails to bring a smile to my face.

Love is bliss.

2010-06-19T07:04:00.001+08:00

This is how life's like at school.
Things are starting to pick up
but the school load keeps adding on my shoulders.

I am super nervous about exam results
because i was ill prepared.
I studied for each module a day before and
i cant cramped all the notes in one pathetic day.
I should have known better than to be such a lazy ass.

But all that's done now.
I just need a rest and get my mind off that nasty effort i've put in the recent exams.

Anyways, just indulge yourselves with some idiotic pictures of myself
while i sulk on my bed all day.
Just kidding, im not so petty.

Class of TB09

And im so sorry i cant be there
for the class outing (i heard it's today)
because im working.
I know, im such a loser but i'll see you guys again
when school reopens.
I cant wait!

2010-06-18T08:24:00.005+08:00

OMG, this touched my heart so bad,
it pulled multiple strings in my heart and i couldnt believe that i cried.

Sometimes simple things like this is what makes the world wonderful.

And people who knows how to love and how to miss someone so bad,
will feel a certain connection to this videoclip.
For instance, myself.
I miss 2 people in my life right now
but im not sure if they miss me back.

1) Boyfriend
2) Dad

But judging from the situation as it is,
i bet they dont miss me at all.

If you didnt cry, you're not human.
I watched this thrice and cried THRICE TOO!
That is only for the first clip.
When i saw the second clip, i cried again.

I have a throbbing headache now after crying so much.

God bless you people who cried.

I feel you

2010-06-17T08:06:00.015+08:00

I need to revamp my wardrobe.
Where do i start shopping?
Calling all shopaholic girlfriends of mine,
please set a date where we can shop together before GSS ends!

Omg, im super excited and i cant wait to shop shop shop!

I love LINDSAY LOHAN!
SO MULTI-TALENTED AND BEAUTIFUL, IM GREEN WITH ENVY!

P/S: (Notice what's on her fingers?)

Why do non-smokers have this stereotype that
girls who smokes are just people who want to look cool?
And why are there multiple Facebook groups
who keeps surfacing with "Girls who smokes and thinks they're cool, they're not"

Well, here's what i think.
Some of us smoke because we want to,
not because we want to look cool or tough.
Because we got curious in the earlier stage and slowly got hooked to it.

Ever heard of curiosity kills the cat but satisfaction brought it back?

We live life once, no one makes it out alive anyways.
So what's with the pressure these non-smokers keeps pressing to smokers?

Life is short, therefore we need to try out everything we wish.
Another human being has no right to order another human being on how to live.

Though this is a truly bad habit, the best approach to it is giving the person time
to settle down and quit by their own will.
Forcing someone to quit out of their will is only going to result to rebellion.

Cigarettes doesn't discriminate any gender.
The addiction doesn't discriminate.

But fret not, I'm not encouraging this addiction.
I know it's bad, smokers know it's bad.
We don't need constant reminder that turns out to be freaking irritating most of the time.

For sure, im already thinking of quitting.

2010-06-15T08:26:00.004+08:00

I was all about going out and catching up with my girls
the whole time Boyfriend was in Taiwan.
I know, he would spank me for doing so
but i just cant help it!

I needed time to let off steam,
especially having such a hectic schedule.
I seriously need a diary that i can keep track of all my plans.
I guess i've stretched myself too thin this time.

But i did went over to Boyfriend's house
and check in on how his parents were doing
and indulging myself in his mom's super delicious dishes.
If i had money, i'd open a cafeteria
and ask her to work as a chef for me.

If Nasi Lemak can get so famous at
Boon Lay, Changi and anywhere in between,
her Lemak Chilli Padi, Sotong Hitam, Asam Pedas ikan pari,
to name a few, would be so popular islandwide.

Omg, studying business has made me develop entrepreneurship visions.
And that's not what i want to be!
I actually want to be a language teacher in a secondary/primary school.

Summer vacation's here but i cant enjoy it like how i imagined it to be.
My aunt, who's an executive in a logistics company,
told me to come and work for her while im on school holiday.
I love working there especially since the environment is super relaxed
so i immediately agreed to her proposal.

I cant wait to get my hands on some heels and make up.
I need this job! OMG!

That aside,my Primary School friends organized a meet up a few weeks ago.
Initially, i was so busy and a little depressed,
i felt that i should just bail out on this reunion.
But i came to my senses and went anyway
since i realised that i need to breathe, and i have a life.

We were actually clueless on where to go
and everything was inpromptu.
The next time we organise such things,
i guess we need to rally everyone, literaly everyone,
and come up with a proper plan.

With all that said, i had so much fun with them that day.

We camwhored in the car, first and foremost.

OMG, IM NOW SO READY TO GET A CAR LICENSE!

I am obviously not expecting to have my picture taken during this time.

And i look so fat, i know.

We shed some weight over bowling at Kallang Leisure Park after dinner.

Juliana, Myself and Eleena

I was stuffing myself with a chocolate bar.

So much for shedding weight, i know!

I weigh 46kg now and i need to shed 6kg!
Help!

2010-06-14T08:12:00.001+08:00

While Boyfriend was away in Taiwan,
my awesome gorgeous girlfriends organized a meet up and
i jumped into the opportunity as soon as everyone set the timing and date.

We've not had this gathering for such a long time
where everyone were able to turn up, it's fuck ridiculous if i gave up on this opportunity.

I miss each and everyone of them and due to our hectic schedules,
we rarely speak to each other and kinda neglect each other
but deep down, we know that we are still best buds.

I treasure their friendship and may we remain friends til we've grown old,
husbands and kids on our sides.

Tanglin girls year '05/'06 FTW!

Gorgeous girls : Eka, Dini and Sam

Gorgeous Itah and I

Joining us after Dinner, Zee and Lynn

LOVE U'ALL GIRLS!

2010-06-13T07:47:00.002+08:00

I am laughing in glee all day when i saw funny Facebook quotes and messages.
Why are you guys so funny?
I cant stop laughing!

Hahahahaha!!
Yes, i am that dramatic.
I would stand on a chair/higher place when i see spiders and roaches.

I dont have to imagine myself screaming and standing on a chair
cos i've done that on several occasions.
I am such a pussy, i know.
Hahahahaha....

I was hoping she would lie and make me look cool over in Facebook
but she went ahead and dive into the sea of truth.
Hahahaha!!

I seriously cant stop laughing my ass off when i imagined defending myself with paper
when someone throws a rock.
Do not try this at home kids!
Silly people like me would,no doubt,HAHAHAHA!

I love how the group(It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces) is created.
Just reading the group name alone makes me laugh my head off
because i know i am one of them.
And yes, it does takes skills and years of practice to master!!!!

Im so glad that there are other dizzy heads like me out there.

2010-06-12T07:23:00.001+08:00

I am so in love with Sephora!
It has a few ranges of cosmetics that caught my eyes!
To name a few, the oversized bronzer, pressed powder, lipgloss and lipstick!

I bought a lipstick over at Sephora the other time and i love it!
It's cheap ($20 only!) and long lasting and best of all, my lips dont dry up when i used it.
I am definitely going to get 5 more lipsticks from Sephora!
Red lipstick especially!

No, Sephora did not pay me to advertise this
but i just feel that good things should be shared.
Sharing is caring!

If you guys have tried Sephora's pressed powder, do tell me how it's like.
I'd love to get my hands on them!

2010-06-11T08:53:00.000+08:00

Anyways, summer vacation is here!
Go get all bronzed up and gear up with your cute swimsuits everyone!

I miss being in the water and basking in the sun.

Is anyone making a beach/summer party?
Is the oil spill still affecting Singapore waters?
Geez... summer's not the same without swimming in the sea.

I cant believe summer vacation is here!

I love how she pair the look with a black beanie!
And she's super bronzed up!

Forget oversized shades, sunhats are a must!

Gisele's wearing the swimsuit i would love to have. So sexy!

But the tan lines would turn out to be freaking hilarious, dont you think?

(Picture Credits: Ed Hardy/socialite life/google)

2010-06-10T00:21:00.001+08:00

I hate how this year's schedule turned out.
I have been extremely busy since term started
and i guess this is how life is going to be like for the next 3 years.

But i brought this upon myself too for not being smart about time management.
I am well aware of that.

To everyone whom i've ignored on MSN or Facebook
or replying you guys with a one word answer,
i extend my sincerest apology.

I will kick myself in the ass later for abandoning you guys after im done with this post.
Hahaha!

Anyways, if you guys followed me on Twitter,
i mentioned about going for New Face Audition
but luck wasnt on my side.

I had an exam which started at 11am(which i could hardly concentrate on,
because i was busy thinking about how it would feel like passing the audition)
and went straight home to get changed.
But by the time i came to the audition, the event has ended.

Though i am super sad about it, i guess it gives me more time to shape up,
grow my hair longer and try for next year's audition.
You guys have to come down and support me while i sign up next year, okay!
So, if anyone's looking for a gym partner or a workout partner (not on the bed, mind you, haha)
do holla at me!

Everyone was too busy except for Idah that unfortunate day
and that dampen my spirit in joining because i felt that the support wasnt there.
I was close to tears but i remained composed.
I guess it is for the better since im not really settled down for school yet.
Im still clueless and immensely busy and all.

Next year, i shall tell you guys the details and you guys MUST follow me.
THIS IS FOR EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU WHO REGARDS ME AS A FRIEND.

We went Marina Square for a little sight seeing in the end.

Had late lunch at Foodcourt that oversees the Esplanade.

I miss esplanade.

That being said, before Boyfriend left for Taiwan,
his family and extended family organized an outing and i was invited.
It was all about prawn fishing, actually.

First we went Pasir Ris's prawning farm then head to Taman Jurong's.
It was awfully boring and tiring especially since all i did was sit and
look at them prawn all throughout the night.

I have to watch my manners the whole time i was there JUST
to make a good impression on his aunt(s).
I was even warned not to wear shorts or anything revealing so that
i wont not be the topic of his aunts' vicious gossips.

Honestly speaking, i was fucking pissed off about being told what to wear and all
but because i dont want Boyfriend and his family to suffer
from the aunt(s)' horrendous mouths, i did as told.

Hello, this is 2010 and we're living in a cosmopolitan city.
We're not in Brunei (No offence yaw people in Brunei) where i have to
cover myself from head to toe.

I dont give a shit if his aunt(s) were to read this post.
Reason being, someone really need to tell her off and she needs to know
that people are not okay with her scrutinizing every detail
and wanting to make a huge deal over the silliest stuff.

For one thing, i hate being told off.
Second, i hate having my name in someone's mouth when it comes to bad gossips.

(What great timing, Boyfriend called telling me to delete his aunts
and their kids in his Facebook friend list)

Anyways, who would enjoy being scutinised?
Why are you restricting your familys' freedom of movement and speech?
Having to care about what you think all the time
and keeping you happy with your zero tolerence for mistakes is pressurising for them,
what more for an outsider like me.

Why would his aunt(s) want to be the centre of hatred in the family?
Were you a victim of biased love in your family?
Did your parents love your other siblings more in the past, that is why you are retaliating
and all there is in your heart is the deepest level of hatred?

I know it is not my place to say but if you were to broaden your mind,
sometimes, the young ones are right.

When you gossiped about the wrong doings of those young ones,
you forgot WHO RAISED IT.

Those who criticise this generation FORGOT WHO RAISED IT.

So do you get it now?
Are you going to change your ways and open your heart to love everyone?
Even so, love your family, the ones who share the same blood as you.
Why criticise those people who shares the same blood as you?
Isnt it as good as criticising yourself?

I just feel sorry for you because i feel that you dont get enough attention
therefore you have to go through the sickest means to get the attention you craved.
I shall give you mine, and my love.

Though Boyfriend may not approve of me accepting you as a human being
and loving you the same as i see a homeless man on the streets,
i just feel that this is something neccessary.
Furthermore, i have a lot of love to share with everyone.
So, you are not exempted of my love
and im sincere about that.

And not forgetting, Happy 5 years 4 months Boyfriend!
I love you like there's no tomorrow.

2010-05-21T00:00:00.002+08:00

Today, my man turns 21.
Damn old already la my Boyfriend.
Soon, i'll get to see your gray hair and wrinkles.
Note to self: need to buy a walking stick for my old man already.

Bby, dont act like you're still young okay.
You old already, can buy a house at this age, you know.
So, you better get a good job once you ORD and save up your money
to buy a diamond ring, a house and marry me.

I cannot wait to be your wife and mother of your kids.

Getting a year older means having to bear greater responsibilities
and i know you've grown up enough to handle all that.
I wish you a very blessed 21st birthday though i cant be there to celebrate with you.

I hope you dont get sabo-ed badly by your army friends there in Taiwan.
Or if you dare celebrate it by drinking or clubbing or whatever during R&R,
I am sure to give you hell when you return.

Dont go drinking in a foreign land okay!
This is an order!

Old man cannot enjoy too much, later too happy then get heart attack how?
Hahahahaha..
Okay, joking.

Do enjoy your birthday, old man.
We'll celebrate once you return.

I love you Boyfriend!
And i will still love you even though you will develop wrinkles later in the years.
You're still the heart throb that holds a special place in my heart and life.

I LOVE YOU, MY SEXY OLD MAN!

(Image Credits: Google and Photobucket)

2010-05-20T09:49:00.001+08:00

Considering that i miss my Boyfriend so much,
i might as well continue thinking about him
as i type out this post and blog about what we did
the past few weeks before he left for Taiwan.

We actually went to alot of places
and spend as much time as possible together
but no matter how much time we had spent that week,
i am still missing him like crazy now.

School is not making me feel any better
because i've one too many things to settle
and i've to master Business Statistics, in other words, A Maths.

Fuck, not another A-Maths, right, i know.
But what to do, i have to master this and as of right now,
im as blur as sotong about this module altogether.

The moment i see Probability and all those
Coefficient/ Standard Deviation thingy makes me turn off instantly.
But i know i cant continue this slacking attitude and flunk this second chance.
I need to put in more effort!

Coming back to my purpose of this post, Boyfriend and i, together with 3 of his friends
went fishing at Changi Coast Walk that week.
It was kind of a random meet up as we've not planned anything about going fishing.
But im glad we did because all that matters is seeing Boyfriend happy.

Im not really a 'role model girlfriend' where bragging about
seeing Boyfriend happy makes me happy kind of shit.
But im just saying, seeing him happy that day felt extra special to me because
it made every inch of my body tingle with excitement out of the blue.

Though fishing is the last thing in my list which i considered as 'fun',
i've finally realised the advantages it brings me.
Besides developing eyes bags, i also get to enjoy night life which i love so much!
I hate staying home like good girls and have nothing to do.

It's better to see real life fishes being pulled to shore
than seeing the dead ones at NTUC too!

But of course, i cant eat a particular food when i've seen it being caught alive.
It's just not right for me.
(And my Boyfriend releases fishes that are small or the ones that he does not eat.)

Pardon my face cos i just woke up from a nap as there wasnt

any news of fishes eating their baits and i got slightly bored.

Awoken by the loud overhead plane in the sky.

Nice view and i managed to capture this.

Lightning fingers!

Got bored and took random shots of the vegetation behind me.

If only i have a Nikon D3000.

Pictures wont be THAT blurry then.

We did not dirty the place!

It was somehow quite dirty when we got there, serious.

We caught this the next morning while we were getting ready to pack up and leave.

Stone fish.

Super hard head, that of a stone.

Lives up to it's name, definitely.
And it's FREAKING HUGE!

2010-05-18T03:29:00.014+08:00

Have you guys ever sat on the bike for far too long
that all you wished to do was to stand up on the moving bike
cos your freaking asses cramped up like crazy?

I've been in that position before and i hate it to the core.
A few day before Boyfriend left for Taiwan,
we met and decided to go to Marina Square
because he wanted to buy shades for himself.

Of course, at the thought of a possibility of shopping for other things
while he decides on his shades, made me agree to the idea almost immediately
when he came up with the plan.

Guess what?
We got lost somewhere along the way.
Hahahaha..

We ended up at weird places like Punggol and Pasir Ris.
We were riding on the bike for like more than an hour!
My knees were shaky and my thighs and ass became so cramped for far too long
that my lower limbs eventually turned numb.

I have no idea why he took the KPE route actually
and being in that fucking tunnel for far too long made me lose all my sanity.
I was freaking angry because the tunnel was freaking humid and i felt suffocated.
Im not claustrophobic, by the way, but after having to go through that freakishly long
and never ending tunnel is like hardcore torture.

My Boyfriend is like so pro with the roads in Singapore
but i have no idea how a simple route from Clementi to Esplanade
can get so complicated that night.
Strangling him from behind on the bike seems like the best option to show my anger
but of course, i kept my composure because i dont want to pressure him.

While on the road, after a long period of silence, i lifted my visor
and fight against the strong wind on my face,
Zia: B, where are we going actually?
Boyfriend: Marina la. But i dunno.. I exit the wrong way.
Zia: No wonderrrrr...!
Boyfriend: Is your ass hurting?
Zia: Yes!!
Boyfriend: Me too! *Half stand on the moving bike and shifted to make himself comfortable on the bike*
Zia: Tsk! *Wish i could half stand too but im so numb i cant feel my legs.*

In the end, we didnt get to go Marina Square because it was already too late.
We went back to my void deck where we chilled and i camwhored.
I was angry initially but figured that it wasnt entirely his fault.

He's so silly!
But in a cute way, nonetheless.

This is one of the moments i secretly wished he has a car license
where i dont mind him driving for long hours cos i know my ass wont hurt.
Quickly come back and get your license.
This is an order!

(The only picture with Night Mode.)

Night mode make me look darker than i already am. -_-''

2010-05-17T03:09:00.002+08:00

You owe me a big hug and a passionate kiss when you come back.
One fucking month is just enough time for me to miss you like crazy.

Thinking about you each night bring joy to all parts of my body
but pain in my heart.
I cant wait to mess you hair, jump behind you and hang onto your shoulders
and say, "I MISS YOU, BODOH!!"

2010-05-16T01:43:00.001+08:00

I love the soft details of this photograph and im super inspired with this.
It's easy to look at especially when im in one of the roughest mood in the history of my life.

Girlfriends, let's go out and take tons of nice pictures like this shall we?
I'd love to do this!

Anyways, im feeling a bit faint now.
I've not eaten the whole day and called MacDonalds about half an hour ago.
Im still waiting for my Mcdonalds 20 piece nuggets and the thought of this
made my stomach grumbled a little.

Im fuck hungry and cooking Maggie is the last thing i want to do in such faint condition.
I swear if i dont receive my order in the next 10 minutes,
im going to pass out and get hospitalized for a stupid reason:
"Patient pass out due to hunger"

That would be the lamest reason to get hospitalized and i bet it'd be funny.

So many emotions ran through me today.
The absence of Boyfriend makes everything so hard.
I need my pillar, i need to be in his arms.
I miss being in his arms, being in a place where i feel the most warmth and love.

I miss looking at his face where his smile touched his eyes.
The most mesmerizing look on a bad boy that send shivers down my spine
everytime he does that.
He's so charming without any effort at all.

But then again, nothing beats looking into his eyes so close
where our noses touch and we could each feel our breath.
Those are times when i melt like a mercury.

I just want to get over with this
and stop dwelling on last night's unhappy event.
I need to regain my strength back and fight these tears.
Everyone has problems and the difference between me and all the other people is that,
i tolerated too much and it has escalated into a huge thing.
Im tired of being unhappy.

And sleeping on the sofa for a night last night was the most miserable moment in my life.

2010-05-15T03:36:00.002+08:00

Tonight's the night where i've completely lost my patience and probably my sanity too.
I am keeping afloat and assuring everyone that i am still very strong
and able to overcome problems that life throws at me
but I've never expected to be pushed to the edge of the cliff so much so that
i cant feel my fucking feet on the ground anymore.

My level of tolerance and patience has totally deduce to nothing.
I am a complete mess and no matter how hard i wanted things to change, i cant,
because i am chained to the ground and my walls are closing in on me.

Tonight, im sleeping on the sofa.

Yes, i am a complete, total mess.
And i cant stop crying for the state that im in.

I have my pillows and comforter with me and as uncomfortable as it is right now,
it beats than having to share a room with selfish people.
I voluntarily moved out of my room and im definitely at the lowest peak of my life right now.

Thoughts of going out and boozing seems to be the perfect solution for me
to get my head off these issues for the time being
and i was already thinking of another attempt to take cough medicine but something held me back.

(P/S: This cheap trick (of drinking cough medicine) works,by the way.
I couldn't feel any effect when i typed the previous post
but a few minutes after i published that post, my throat and stomach felt warm
and i was practically sleepy that i cant even make out the letters
on the keyboard nor on my handphone.
Definitely tripping cos i dont make sense when i typed out a goodnight message to Boyfriend.
I didnt manage to send it to him cos the next day i checked, it was saved in Draft
and the words were like utterly not making any sense.

I knocked out totally while i was halfway typing, i guess,
and bailed out on a group discussion that i was supposed to attend
because the moment i opened my eyes the next day,
it was already late and i had to rush to school for a presentation.
And, im not telling you guys this just so you can try it out.
Dont be retarded.
Im telling you guys this cos the reason behind doing so was because
i want to get my mind off things even if it's temporary.)

I still had a thin line of patience and tolerance half an hour ago
but something happened and i dont feel like im on the same page as them anymore.

I knew they were selfish people but who am i to complain
when i myself originate from these group of people?
Tonight just proves how deep their selfishness are
and i am fucking annoyed with each and every one of them.

Sometimes i just wished these people could spare a thought for everyone except themselves.
However it's hard, even if i wished upon a shooting star for a change in them,
at the end of the day, they are fucking selfish and i am sick to my stomach to be even related with them.

2010-05-13T02:21:00.000+08:00

For the record, i cant sleep.
I went to the kitchen, took out the unopened cough medicine that
i got from Polyclinic a few days ago and gulp it all down.

Fuck, i dont believe it can make one drowsy.
My throat and stomach feels lightly warm right now but im still fucking sober.

I can fully operate a machine (my laptop is considered a machine too okay)
and im the least drowsy.

2010-05-12T02:47:00.001+08:00

(tumblr)

God, im such a mess.
Why is everything starting to get fucking annoying by the minute?
Someone better not utter a single damn word and agitate me any further today.
Im all over the place and there's nothing better to describe me than 'a mess'.
I never wanted this mess, never wanted to be the mess and im trying to change.
Damn it, fuck booze, it never helps.

I wonder why people acts like 'Rich Kids'(movie click here) by boozing and abusing
and i dont think it helps one bit.
What i need now is to say out every single fucking shit i want to express inside
but it's fucking hard because i have to be conscious of my fucking good girl reputation.

Good girl reputation?

I am fucking sick of showing people i am perfect, how i dont lack anything at all
but life never worked that way.
Has never worked that way for me, has never worked that way for even anyone.
So cut the ultimate bullshit by saying your fucking life is perfect.

In one way or another, someone is ALWAYS lacking something.
But it all depends whether one is intelligent enough to cover up that lack with something else
so that the flaw is never seen by public,
and not being a total ass by acknowledging that everything is perfect.
So pretentious, im sick to my stomach.
Now i've had enough of hiding and sick of trying to be perfect in other people's eyes.

That's not how i want to portray myself.
That's not how my soul wants my scripted life to take control of everything.
I want something else.
And there's no fucking person to blame, except for myself and the loss of love from a Dad.

Seriously, fuck you, for trying to enter my life again.
I was happy without you and you just had to make life difficult for me
by entering into the picture again.
I have never felt the loss before and i was happy with where i was
but you just have to destroy that by proving to me that i can never be happy with such loss.
Why would you want to do something like that?

I appreciate you for making me an existence,
but i dont appreciate you leaving, i dont appreciate that i have step sisters
and i certainly dont appreciate you judging me and thinks im a bad person by the cigarette on my fingers.

You know what?
I dont give a fucking damn anymore because as bad as it looks like on the surface,
i am nothing like that.
I am not that bad though i stay out late at night or not going home at all for the night,
booze and smoke. (and P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P (only close friends know what pppppp means))

That's not bad, you burn my tongue like a fucking acid when i have your name in my mouth.
Now, that's even worse.
I was your favourite, but recently you said i look nothing like you nor mom.
What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

So please just back off, i'll call you when i need you.
Just concentrate on your own freaking life and family and dont bother one of us.
You're the reason why i sound super pathetic when i talk about my childhood.

Cause of all the children you have, im the only one who witness
how your palm reached my mother's face.
I was 8.
I was a merely fucking 8 years old.
I swear i'd have kicked you in the groins for what you've done if i dont know the meaning of 'respect'.
So dont push it.

I dont want to talk about this when im down, when im drunk or when im perfectly sober.
I dont want you to be the topic of my conversation just so i can open up to other people.
For once, fucking once, i would want to tell my happy life when i open up.
So let me live, get out of my head for once.

The last time im ever going to talk about you,
is during my 3 minutes presentation in school tomorrow.
'If i could stop time for a minute, what will i do in that minute.'

For once, you popped in my head and i immediately knew what i wanted to do.
I wanted to spend that one hour with you
when everyone around us freezes for that hour.
Because i have so many questions and im leaving you with 'Goodbye, i'll call you when i need you."

I dont want to be a mess anymore, im dealing with this lack perfectly fine until yesterday,
i had to say it out loud and resulting to making a fool of myself.
It never occurred to me that im such a mess until yesterday.

Well, i've replace that loss with someonne better.
And that someone better is none other than Farid Arifin.
He inks himself but compared to you who has no ink on your body,
he's a million times better.
I'd pick him over you, anytime.
Im so over you Dad.

And this one song seems to make me feel a tad better.

2010-05-11T19:09:00.004+08:00

Yay! Fever made me have sore throat
and i've been nodding my head to everyone telling me to take my meds
but has never once in the past 4 days touch any of those yucky bitter things.

If Boyfriend reads this, im going to lose my head
because if he's around, he'll definitely force me to eat those bloody bitter things
and would only stop pestering when i've successfully downed them in my throat.
(By dissolving them into the water, first)

Call me a retard but i will never try swallowing them whole
because my brain doesnt seem to convey the message to my throat to open up
very well and i'd risk getting choke.

Reasons for being such a pussy at this was because
a) i swallowed on a chewing gum back in K2 before.
As far as i remembered, it wasnt that dramatic.
I swallowed it and when my mom asked if the gum was in my mouth,
i simply said "tkla, da telan."(no, i swallowed it.)

I didnt choke on it, surprisingly, and it felt like nothing.
That's hugely a reason why my Grandma keeps nagging
when my other cousins who are younger than me, chews on chewing gums.

b) In Sec 1, i choked on a Panadol Extra
and due to that pill in my throat,i had difficulty breathing.
I panicked so much and drank water
and my ears got blocked out with air as i did so.
But my throat doesn't want to open up and
I cant breathe for like a minute?
And within that minute, i thought i was going to die.
IT WAS AWFULLY PAINFUL.

It definitely made me not want to swallow any pills ever since.

That aside, i have 2 fucking days of MC so that means no school for 3 days
cos after the 2 days MC, I have AL for ITE Graduation Day.
I know i miss a whole fuck of lectures and tutorials
and i have one pending presentation to do and im feeling the stress already.

I am a mess.
Like a real total mess.

Swear to God that I'll change and no more mess.
No more fucking mess.

2010-05-10T10:28:00.005+08:00

I miss my Boyfriend.

In fact, i miss him so much that
my eyes are so teary and my vision is so misty now.
Im going mental with his absence and this is only Week 1
and i cant wait for a month to pass so that i can see him again.
I am so eager with having to get over dealing with this loneliness already!
I know this is completely necessary
to be going for an overseas training for an NSman
and i wont complain much.

All i know is that, there'll be no more of such trips
cause in 6 more months, he's going to ORD
and kiss those book in and book out fever goodbye.
(Unless of course, he wants to sign on. Which i will totally support his decision, if he wants to)

Sending Boyfriend off at the airport was unbearable.
Before he checked in, he came up to me and told me to open the zip at the side of his backpack.
I did as told and took out a brown envelope inside.

He wrote me a letter.

I was so busy with school that i didnt even have the time to write him a letter
like what i did when he went Brunei.
That even made me want to cry even more.
But i had to hold on to my tears because there were too many people around
and i dont want to make it difficult for him.

I was so eager to read the letter but i resist that temptation and kept it in my bag.
As soon as i stepped out from the cab from the airport, i quickly took out the letter
because it was killing me and i was dying to read the contents inside.

As predicted, it was something so romantic that i end up tearing on the way up to my house.

Fell in love with him again when he wrote : I LOVE YOU NORAZIAH.
He rarely say out my full name and when he does, it's like sending electricity through my veins.
The tingly feeling, the vibe.
Felt like back when we were about to become a couple.
Ohh, those wonderful awkward moments.

Taken with his iPhone.

Taken with my ks360. Super sucky quality, no doubt, and dimmer too. whyyyyy!?

Happy monthsary to you, bby.
Hope you're doing fine in Taiwan.
Please do not get sick and eat your meals regularly.

I cant wait to see you and hug you tightly.

2010-05-07T07:43:00.003+08:00

Im officially super inspired to be stick-like skinny like Nicole Ritchie.
Except, i dont want to be stick-like, i just want to be skinny.
I want my collar bone to be even more distinct
(in other words, yes i love it when my collar bones stick out as if im deprieved of food)
and i want to fit in to at least a size 2 jeans!
Im now a size 8-10 and supermodels are size 0!

See the difference!
*panic attack*

But i wonder why people tell me that im NOT FAT whenever i complained that i am.
I mean, im obviously fat but when i speak my mind about this on my Facebook status,
everyone tells me that im not!

I AM!

A skinny person will agree with me that i am fat!
Well, at least not that fat but average.
I dont want to be average.
I WANT TO BE SKINNY!

Im such a loser when it comes to food.
I dont eat vegetables because they taste incredibly awful,
i love eating rice that is overwhelmed with carbohydrates
and i hated drinking plain water!

I remembered a classmate who told me that anything eaten with chilli sauce is nice.
So it's perfectly fine to eat vegetables with chilli sauce
(like ordering Zinger burger and add loads of chilli sauce)
because we'll only get to taste the chilli, not the veggies.

I have not tried out the theory of eliminating the awful taste of veggie by overwhelming it
with chilli sauce but i might do so if i've come to my senses that vegetables are friends, not enemies.

That aside, her headband is so pretty!
I love love love it so much!

That aside, school is getting exciting.
My judgement about how boring class is, is slowly changing.
Everything is starting to pick up, i've made more friends
and taking pictures during lectures is so fun!

I'd usually come about 15 minutes late and sit at the very last row
of the lecture theater and start taking pictures when lessons starts to get boring and dry.
Nonetheless, this is something i must overcome,
getting distracted during lessons with endless picture taking session with myself.
It's hard! I need a restraining order.

In classroom and taking pictures too. See, really need a restraining order!

2010-05-06T06:41:00.002+08:00

This is mad!
I love their curls and their necklaces so much that it's impossible to stay sane staring at this picture.
How awsome is Mary Kate's hair length?
I know right? So awesome!!

If you guys are wondering, i was actually born with curls like that
but ever since rebonding phase rule the world in 2004,
i have been frequenting the salon to have super silky straight hair at least once every two years!
A very expensive habit but at the same time, damaging.
And now, im so determined to stay away from hair salons and growing out my natural curls.

How will i ever believe a hairdresser's words when the last time i went,
she snipped a good 5cm of my ends when she initially said 2cm?
I told her to create volumes in my hair (which means cut layers)
but she cut a bloody pathetic 5 cm straight line across the ends
and where in the world has the "volume" gone to? Beats me.

Anyway, unhappy past aside, I want long and curly hair like Mary Kate's!

OMG!
I've been too blinded to see that my natural curls are seriously better than silky straight.

Yes, i know i've made my blog private for the past couple of days.
Did i scare you guys?
Hahahahaha...
My motive for being absent from blogging is because i was too tied up with school
so i eliminate the temptation of blogging by making it private
and not going to my own blog to see that very same old blog post
and not being able to see if anyone left a tag.

Very effective, seriously!

2010-04-30T23:21:00.001+08:00

I am very busy this past few days that i dont even have the time
to be online and blog nor doing my assignments.
See how terribly hectic my life is right now?

I am super mental now.
I keep forgetting that i have assignments and that adds up to more stress
when i realised that the submission date is nearing.
I even had a stupid assignment which is:
'If you could stop time for an hour, what would you do?"

I have to give a bloody 3 minutes oral presentation on that.
I even had to wear a formal business wear for the presentation!
Imagine saying that i want to steal all the cosmetics in a shopping centre within that hour
and bringing home bags load of eye shadows, lipgloss and cheek stains!

It's so hypocritical that i'll be wearing a formal business wear
and im saying that i want to commit robbery.
HOW IRONIC!

If only we can do away with the formal attire and wear our usual fashionable clothes,
that wont be an obstacle for me to explore my ideas.
But if im to wear formally, it's only right that my presentation should be politically correct!
Geez..!

That aside, in a few more days, Boyfriend will be leaving me again,
for 25 FUCKING DAYS, as he has to go Taiwan for NS Training.
Why?!
Me no like it one bit!
Hmph!

I'll be dead bored while he's away for sure
and i'll have nothing to do during the weekends.
On top of that, i will miss him terribly!!!!!!

I hope he brings his netbook so that we can skype and take off our clothes and all.
Okay, kidding.
Of course not taking off our clothes la.
Im not a retard okay.
Hahahahahaha...

Well, i hope school will occupy my time while he's away.
(Not that im hoping for too much assignments, that is)

For the record, i might be on hiatus for a week
because i need to complete my assignments.
I promise not to be gone for too long as i've many interesting posts to update
however i've no time to type it all out.
And by the time you see this post, i hope im halfway through my assignment
and not get distracted with reading "Rumour Has It" by Jill Marsell.

It's a good book i tell you!

2010-04-27T18:19:00.000+08:00

I am aware that i have to download a certain software into my laptop
for school purposes so i went to the school's IT Helpdesk to assist me with it.
And it was one of the most irritating experiences in my life so far.

My new friend,Rachael, went with me as she also needed to install the new software
and it only took her like 10 minutes to get everything done.

Guess how long it took me?

2 FREAKING HOURS!

In addition to that, after 2 hours, i still couldnt manage to complete the installation!

In that two freaking hours, i could've gone jogging and lost 2kg
or watch two back to back episodes of Spongebob Squarepants!
I could've done something benefiting with that 2 precious hours but no,
i had to sit and continue the process of making my ass as square as Spongebob's.

Reason why my friend took only 10 minutes to complete the installation
was because she bought her laptop from school and thus having an added advantage
because certain softwares has been pre-installed.
I bought mine from outside and ''it's only natural'' that i had to wait for 2 or more bleedy hours.
I was dying in my seat and boyfriend wanted to meet me up
as he wanted me to accompany him to pay his bike insurance.

Off the record, Boyfriend sold his TZM bike already!
I miss that bike!
It helds so many memories and knowing that
im never going to be able to ride on it again saddens me.
='[

I've flung from the seat before because Boyfriend accidentally rode into a drain at Labrador,
being dragged under the bike before because we skidded while entering my carpark,
rammed into a divider at a multi story carpark at Peninsular Plaza
during New Year because Boyfriend turned around to look at his friends
to see if he went the right direction and tell me, how in the world
can i bear to watch that bike leave with memories like this?

But nothing beats the memory of having leg cramps
because the footrest was so high up at the back
and naturally making my back posture and ass positioned in a sexy way.
(Girls who've been on a bike and understands the sexy way to sit will understand this)

Anyways,back to ranting, the personnel from IT Helpdesk wasnt even being helpful.
The person told me to wait despite knowing that the window showed "Not Responding".
The installation bar wasnt even moving!

I pointed it out to the person but she brushed it off by saying that it was normal.

How can a "NOT RESPONDING" alert box be ''normal''?

Obviously something needed to be done right?
And that person kept telling me to buy a new laptop
that can withstand me throughout my 3 years education in Poly
because my SONY VAIO laptop was lagging.

Crazy right?
That person easily told me to buy a brand new lappy from the school
as though a piece only cost $100. *roll eyes*
I was so angry because she made a senseless suggestion
and she even said something in Korean when i made my laptop jammed.
I swear i would've kill her for not being so professional.

Furthermore, SONY Vaio is as good as Macbook lor!
(Considering the specs of the lappy)

Zia: What softwares do we have to install?
Personnel: CS4, Microsoft thingy, MYOB softwares
Zia: What's CS4?
Personnel: It's photoshop.
Zia: Isit necessary to install that? I already have photoshop in my lappy.
Personnel: Is it CS4?
Zia: No, not CS4, but Element 6.
Personnel: Then? Not CS4 right? Of course you have to install.
Zia: But it's still the same what, photoshop.
Personnel: *Completely ignore me*

What the fuck? I swear i was ready to get off my seat
and fucking electrocute her with those USB cables la!
She also passed sarcastic remarks to other students
who came in to install the software as well.

Personnel: First year student installing softwares?
Student: Yup.
Personnel: Laptop buy from school or outside?
Student: Buy from school.
Personnel: Oh THANK GOD! If buy from outside will take A LONG TIME to download.

What is her problem man?
Emphasizing on 'A LONG TIME' phrase right in front of my face
just because mine took too long to download.
WHAT THE FUCK!

After a tiring wait, i went home without completely installing the softwares
and told my sister about having to install stuffs into the lappy.
Thank God she studied IT as a major
and she scoff at the attitude of the personnel when i told her the story.

Sister: CS4 is just the same as Element 6. This is all VERSIONS. She's stupid or what?
Zia: I already told her i have photoshop and she irritatingly told me, "Then? Not CS4 right?"
Sister: It's still photoshop la. CS4 or Element 6 is just the same.

The next day, i went to IT Helpdesk again and i got a really good greeting from the same personnel.
"You again ah?"

Fuck la, you havent install the stuffs into my lappy of course i come again la.
What a ridiculous question.

This time, it only took me 10 mintues to download the stuffs EXCEPT CS4.

Zia: Ya, im HERE again. I want to download everything except CS4.
Personnel: Why?
Zia: Cos i already have photoshop. -.-''
Personnel: CS4?
Zia: My sister said it's still the same. Furthermore, my seniors told me that CS4 is not really needed.

After everything was done, i sarcastically asked "Finish already? SO FAST?"

Seriously, though im just a freshie, it doesnt mean i can easily get trampled on la okay.
So angry... pfft..!

2010-04-26T19:28:00.005+08:00

School has started a week ago and i am trying to get the hang of life in an unknown atmosphere.
I hate times like this!
Times when im being forced to meet new people
and you'll never know how these people really are, on the inside.
Okay, that one line can pretty much sums up that i have trust issues with acquaintances.

Well, if you have met good people in your life from the very beginning, good for you.
But for people like me, (im sure im not alone in this case)
having to constantly learn that people whom i've made friends with
talk about me behind my back all the time is tiring and thus, made me develop this trust issue.

I wonder why people would want to bring someone down when they've done nothing wrong.
Like, how can they feed their ego by thrashing and stepping on other innocent people?
How can they freaking sleep at night peacefully?

Been in this position since Primary school, and im so tired of this same old, same old attitude.

Referring back to school, to be honest, i was quite scared
because i dont have that many friends who go to the same school as me.
I am a retard when im alone.
Hahahahahaha...
Like seriously, my sense of direction is all haywire when im alone.

I have this pretty bad phobia that when i walk in front of
a group of rowdy teens/handsome and beautiful people, i will tend to feel very nervous.
I will wonder if they would look at me and disturb me as i walk past
or if they will talk about me like as if i have chilli on the side of my mouth
or as if i didnt zip my pants.

My brain cant even coordinate well with my legs
and i cant seem to walk properly in some cases.
And im always afraid that i might trip and fall flat on my nose!
I know im weird la.
But this phobia only happens when im ALONE.

That aside, im pretty sad that my close friends didnt get to pursue their studies
in a Polytechnic though i've seen them put tremendous effort to study.
Well, i have one point to make.

ITE Marking scheme sucks!
Guess they dont know the meaning of 'fair and square.'
How can a person's web design with advanced knowledge of animation get a B?
That animation took alot of effort, for god sake and no one in class knew how to animate an object!

As for my PR exam, i can remember VERY DISTINCTIVELY
every word in the paragraph yet i got a B!

B OKAY!
I dont know where i got my answers wrong because after the exams,
i compared my answers with my friends and most of them have similar answers as me.
I need an A for PR to get a scholarship for Poly but ITE marking scheme crushed me into bits and pieces.
Sho sad.

Please increase the number of A's given so that students have the hunger to drive towards their goal.

Anyways, it was pretty tough initially being in a new school
because i have no friends that i am close with
and im forced to do things on my own and i dislike being in that position. Being alone.

I mean, im not really THAT loner, i have 2 familiar faces in my class (thankfully)
that i am able to talk and hang with and a new friend who's really friendly and easy to talk to.

The vibe in Polytechnic is actually really different from Secondary School and ITE.
Reason being, everyone is so reserved and they keep to themselves.
Maybe it's just the beginning of school and everyone is trying to warm up to a new environment
so i should really allow time before i judge about how boring and dead school is.

Anyways, first day of school was really bad!
I was kind of late for class (no surprise, i know. hahaha) and as soon as i stepped in,
everyone brought their laptops, switched on and ready on their table.
I mean, come on!, it's just the first day and lesson has already started!?
FML BIG TIME!

Why is everyone so studious?
*Faints*

I thought students from Polytechnics are very fashionable people but i guess i was wrong.
Everyone, on a general basis, wore shorts, tees and slippers.
There i was, thinking fashion was a staple.
I blame this perception for watching too much 90210!

That aside, i joined Photography club as a CCA.
I actually wanted ice skating but i didnt see the booth at the CCA Fair.
Reason why i wanted Ice skating was because
i wanted to challenge myself and do something different.
And partially wanting to be able to do splits, hahahahaha.
(No, dont ask me why i would want to torture myself doing splits because i have no idea myself)

I was all prepared to make a fool of myself when i skate (obviously not very good at skating)
but i think God wanted me to save face and not make a spectacle of myself
therefore that CCA wasnt offered anymore. (that's what i heard from the seniors when i asked around)

I have no idea if i should be celebrating for thankfully, not making myself look like a retard
or if i should feel sad that i cant have the sport that i am REALLY interested in.

Actually, there's a similar CCA to this, and that is inline skating.
Inline skating is more to those skater chicks and dudes, and ice skating is more sophisticated.

NO WAY I AM GOING TO CHOOSE A CCA
WHICH REQUIRES ME TO SWEAT PROFUSELY!

So i decided that i should try out photography,
something that is not rough or requires me to sweat like a pig.

With this, i hope to gain skills and work as a photographer when all else fails.

But then again, i want to learn how to DJ!
I want to work in a club and be like DJ Sam (You know, Lindsay's gay girlfriend)
and i posted that onto my Facebook page.
To my surprise, Boyfriend commented on my wall.

(click to enlarge)

Pictures taken on first day of school.

Overdressed? Who cares?

2010-04-20T19:36:00.002+08:00

I am looking for a job.
The last time i mentioned in my blog, i HAD two jobs over the holidays
but I have spent all my money on clothes to prepare myself for school
and im left with nothing.

OMG.
I am such a shopaholic and i am pretty angst with myself for this.
How can i waste ALL that money on clothes?
I need to buy a laptop and DSLR for myself and all that dreams are like freaking wasted.

The money felt like a drop of snow that has already evaporated and
there's absolutely nothing i can do to get it back.

Well, there is something i can do to gain it back, WORK.

I am so in need of a job.

That aside, Jobstreet.com called me and asked if i was interested
for the Production Operator job that i applied a few days after i posted in my blog that
these job search over the internet DONT work.

But they surprisingly called me up and asked if i was interested.
Any job would sound tempting to me since im broke
but i was merely applying for that position to prove that these websites dont work
but they obviously do.

Opps!
Try calling me again with a better job, say Data Entry, that i applied,can?

2010-04-20T00:42:00.008+08:00

I am fully aware that i am depriving you guys with loads of exciting occurrences in my life.
Fret not, now you guys can finally sit up a little and smile
because i am not going to be on hiatus anymore!
*THROWS CONFETTI IN THE AIR*

Just to side track a tiny little bit, I have decided to cut my nails super short last night
and then decisively paint them traffic light red.
But it's surprisingly not very eye catching despite being red but nonetheless the point is,
as im typing, i feel super light and my fingers are like a gazillion times much more obedient
and wont keep hitting the wrong letters.
It is actually much easier to type with super short finger nails!
My speed for typing actually feels twice faster than with normal long nails!

And no, im not retarded, i have come to this conclusion some time ago
but still, im pretty amazed at how it feels with short fingernails
because i constantly keep long nails and paint them of different colors as frequent as i like.
And im so not used with these short nails.

I know that is not healthy and all coloring it almost all the time but
i seriously dont want to think of the consequences right now.
I just love looking at my coloured nails and cute nail art so that is why.

Anyways, im watching MTV right now and the Jersey Shore commercials aired.
This reminds me that i have something to rant about this retarded reality show.

Seriously, looking at the commercial makes me dumb.
Like, i know im dumb blonde already (quoted from unreliable facts of my ditzy friends opinions)
but watching just the commercial can make me dumb beyond dumb.

Like one hair gel is never enough, one tanning session is never enough,
a man is never complete with muscular and toned body
and a woman is never complete with toned and big boobs.
WHAT??!!

I have never seen the show before, just the commercial,
but that is enough to sum up what a crappy show it is going to be.
For those who has seen the show and raving about how fab it is,
I AM NOT SURPRISED if there's a slight change in behavior
and that kind of behavior can be found in Jersey Shore.

Like, dont freaking lie and say that it has not affect or influence you at all.
Maybe the urge to go to the beach and be tan
or hitting the gym to buff up are the kind of influences
that the viewers should be looking out for if they're still in denial
whether the show has influence them a tiny bit.

I know im judging a book by it's cover and i dont care.
I am speaking my mind and this is my intellectual property.

Anyways, let's move on to the real deal.
Last 2 weeks(i guess, my memory is failing me) Boyfriend and i,
together with his ex colleagues went to watch a movie at Grand Cathay.
His ex colleagues were the one who organized the group meeting
and we were merely following suit since we did not have any plans that night.

I love activities like this, going out late nights with Boyfriend and his friends.
The feeling is so lively when all ten (or more) bikes are like zooming
on the road together and having fun and all.

I had no idea what movie we were about to watch
until we were all settled at Burger King to have our late dinner.
The movie started at midnight and we had to wait for a good two hours
and Plaza Singapura was the utmost convenient place to have our meal.

I just learn that Burger King sells $1 Whooper on Good Friday.
But i didnt get the Whooper because i was craving for the turkey bacon burger thingy.
I know im so slow in learning this(the $1 Whooper burger) but i have a very good reason why.
Reason being, there's no Burger King at Clementi and i have no freaking idea
where's the nearest BK at my area.

ANY PERSON INTERESTED IN FRANCHISING BURGER KING,
PLEASE OPEN AN OUTLET AT CLEMENTI!!
I WILL DEFINITELY BUY AS OFTEN AS I CAN!

Anyways, we watched this!

To think that the theater was so full despite showing at midnight that Good Friday
and we ended up sitting on the third row from the front.
At the end of it, i had like motion sickness because the screen
was too wide and too close and i had to lift up my head the entire time
causing me to have stiff neck.
I am not exaggerating.
I am SERIOUS!

I joked with Boyfriend just to take my mind off the suffering i had to went through.
Zia: Bby, you look on the right hand side, i look on the left hand side of the screen okay?
Boyfriend: Huh? Why?
Zia: Ya, then you tell me what happend on your side.
I'll tell you what happend on my side. Okay?

The screen is fucking huge that i cant get to see the whole picture.
It was that bad, seriously.

Nonetheless, i really enjoyed the movie and i ended up learning
quite a number of things about the Greek mythology.
And the Princess is not really a beauty because i personally feel that
Lo(acted by Gemma Arterton) is actually prettier than the Princess character in the movie.

He hates taking pictures right from the beginning i knew him all the way til now.

Dont worry bby, you look super macho and handsome.

That is why you are mine.

HATERS PLEASE BACK OFF!

I am trying not to act my age with this hairstyle. I cant believe im 20. sho old!

(P/s: i know the resolution and quality of the picture is beyond mentioning.
Unless you could donate me CANON D3000 DSLR, i suggest you live with it
and be patient till i get my hands on a that camera
and stop depending on a sucky camera phone. TYVM.)

I have never seen such a great movie in a long time
where i can pick up knowledge from
so the boys did buy the right movie though the seating sucks.
I am waiting for other interesting movies in 3D because
Boyfriend and i have never seen one together.

The last time i saw a 3D movie thingy was
back in Primary school at Science Centre.
I know, pathetic much.

So, help me look out for interesting movies that Boyfriend and i
should catch in 3D and tag me up at my tagboard.
Keyword: 3D MOVIES

Your kindness is very much appreciated.

More updates coming up
but i have to sleep as i have school tomorrow.
I cant wait to tell you guys about my new school and the environment.
So stay tuned.

2010-04-14T00:27:00.001+08:00

Busy with work and preparations for school.

ON HIATUS

Fahion,make up, hairstyles and photography are DEEPLY loved.

[*- The Happy Pill -*]

[- The Happy Pill -]